I'm going to put forth the notion that in the very near future there's going to be a 90's throw-back of epic proportions the likes of which will completely destroy any and every semblance of cultural authenticity in these times as a whole. Everyone will dress like the lead singer of Smash Mouth and lava lamps will sell like insanely hot cakes. Vintage Old Navy painter khakis will go for $300 at select boutiques online. There's going to be a cult genre of films released that mimic the teen comedy gimmick in sick and awfully nostalgic ways. It'll be a cultural revolution that nobody will be ready for and everybody will be sick of immediately and it will invalidate centuries of thought and insight into the human psyche. In a sense: we will be living in one giant Freddy Prinze Jr. movie and our children will only want to play Charades.

Welcome to my vision of the future.

Music by the Dandy Warhols.