The only aids you used to know was kool-aid, corn bread, corn rows and corn br-aids.

"Nothing is funnier than unhappiness." -Samuel Beckett

"I am at once a man who thinks and a businessman, and a collector of optical instruments as well.

The moment I put my eye to a kaleidoscope, I feel that my mind, as the heterogeneous fragments of colors and lines assemble to compose regular figures, immediately discovers the procedure to be followed: even if it is only the peremptory and ephemeral revelation of a rigorous construction that comes to pieces as the slightest tap of a fingernail on the side of the tube, to be replaced by another, in which the same elements converge in a dissimilar pattern...

It is my image that I want to multiply, but not out of narcissism or megalomania, as could all too easily be believed: on the contrary, I want to conceal, in the midst of so many illusory ghosts of myself, the true me, who makes them move."

Italo Calvino is (was) kind of the best sport about meta-fiction in the world.

Doesn't everything make you want to everything?

I know it makes me want to!

#Relevant To My Life

On a more personal note:
I worked my first full day at my job today. And I've got to say it's pretty rad. Basically I just sit on a computer writing summaries of department and program histories that I track down in university Annuals. I listen to music and I read history and I annotate and I get lost in the archivalist's dreams and at the end of the day I smell like moldy books.

It's an amazing feeling to actually go to work and not feel like I want to kill myself every second of the day. H8 U BYU TV. Love U HBLL.

I'm going to put forth the notion that in the very near future there's going to be a 90's throw-back of epic proportions the likes of which will completely destroy any and every semblance of cultural authenticity in these times as a whole. Everyone will dress like the lead singer of Smash Mouth and lava lamps will sell like insanely hot cakes. Vintage Old Navy painter khakis will go for $300 at select boutiques online. There's going to be a cult genre of films released that mimic the teen comedy gimmick in sick and awfully nostalgic ways. It'll be a cultural revolution that nobody will be ready for and everybody will be sick of immediately and it will invalidate centuries of thought and insight into the human psyche. In a sense: we will be living in one giant Freddy Prinze Jr. movie and our children will only want to play Charades.

Welcome to my vision of the future.

Music by the Dandy Warhols.

Some people doubt my abilities

But I was born to be surrounded by beautiful people. And I am. Beautiful and talented people. So it's only natural that I should at least expect to date Nataly Dawn soon right? It's understandable to feel that I'm entitled to date that beautiful woman right?


Of course it is!

Am I going to be this smug, self-satisfied asshole for all of my life?

Or will that wane with age?

Hopefully. Ohhhhh Lord hopefully.

Things You Didn't Know About Victor Wong

Victor Wong. Many know him as the grandpa from the nineties kid classic Three Ninjas. Or maybe even his role in The Last Emperor. Heck, maybe you've been a fan for awhile and remember his appearance in Big Trouble in Little China. I mean, that's all I would have remembered him for.

However, here's some shit you most definitely didn't know about this guy:


-He studied political science and journalism at Berkley.
-He studied Theology at University of Chicago under Martin Buber.
-He hung out with Mark Rothko
-He met Jack Kerouac, who then included Victor in Big Sur as "Arthur Ma".
-He got into fights with Bertolucci about the historical authenticity of The Last Emperor and ultimately got most of his scenes cut.

He died in 2001. This dude was mad dope. Seriously, how smart did this guy have to be? How is his life so rich and interesting? Why is he only known as "Grandbro" from Three Ninjas?

Hero-status. For life.

The Young, the Monied, and the Well-Educated are gradually shifting towards a sort of anti-culture that embraces lower social strata ironically (by gradual, I mean it's here and has been here since like 2006 dude). Is it an attempt to find validation? Superiority that you are among the esoteric, the free-form, the ones who "get it"? Is it about personal freedom; the dizzying personal agency that comes along with "doing it your way" without any social strictures or guidelines? Or is it because they are rejecting their parents' values, striking out at the boomers and even the gen x-ers?

I'm constantly enthralled with why the young social elite chooses consistently to embrace the colloquial tones of Michigan-bred urbanites or the hazy glue-huffing attitudes of Midwestern suburbanites over the genteel and dulcet tones of their very own past. By social elite, I mean the young and privileged, the 20-somethings who live in loft apartments and blog for a living. You're far more often to find this cohort talking about Baudelaire like he was their Eminem broski, rather than uh, I don't know, Charles Baudelaire. Are they afraid of the past? Is this normal? Where is our language, attitude, and culture headed?

America has long been a nation of specialists. But generally speaking that was pertaining to the industry of America. Has this great gearing towards specialization bled into our culture as well? That's just silly talk Alex. But still I think about it...

I'm not fearful of the future. I'm just genuinely interested in why I want to listen to Young Jeezy and say stuff like "Chaucer was just a white bro dude" when I attend a private university. I've got grad school on the horizon. I like to read Kafka and Tolstoi. What am I doing listening to Nikki Minaj and Drake?

Is this even at all lucid? I think I've got a point in here somewhere.

I am who I am. Nothing can change that. I've always been this way. I'll always be this way. I'll never be sorry for that. I'll never be afraid of that.

And Martin Buber said: "Man is the crystallized potentiality of existence."

And I believed him.

There's a point where all of the trendy new art/literature/architecture/fashion just congeals into a scary, semi-lucid Old Navy commercial.

See also: Dwell Magazine, Colin Self, Michael J. Yates, and this


See because, this stuff now? It's not challenging. It's not interesting. The American intelligentsia is just boorish. Everything is a perfume commercial and it makes me want to take a long drive in the country, stare at all of the trees and the boats with tarpaulins pulled across their dry hulls, and think about what in the world Enda Walsh has to do with the world.

Tension breeds beauty. I love the way everything looks when it's in the act of falling apart. Austin told me I look for girls who are "rough-around-the-edges", and I don't know if that's true or not, but I definitely think that if someone looks at you with tragedy in their eyes, it's certain you've got to know their story, who they are, and why their face is falling apart.