So, it’s Tuesday, 5 A.M. What do I find myself doing? Oh that’s right, cooking steak and watching Empire Records. It would seem that in my never ending quest to reinvent the 90’s, I’ve picked back up one of the classics, the icons, the Great Patriots of the late 20th century. This movie shaped me in ways I didn’t understand. It’s probably responsible for every single stereotype I’ve ever held about my peers, and for my sense of justice. I knew at a young age that the good guys were the ones sticking it to the man and that stealing nearly ten thousand dollars was understandable, nay, encourage-able! It also might explain why I would run around with no shirt on screaming about having no parents, a speed addiction, and everyone else’s “PERFECT LITTLE LIFE!!!!!!”

Looking back on this movie, one asks themselves the inevitable questions: why was this made? Who thought this was real life? Why is this movie so GOOD?
Seriously, I love this movie. It’s in the same leagues as Heavyweights, Camp Nowhere, Fox Fire, and Can’t Hardly Wait. Also, Liv Tyler is possibly the hottest chick of the 90’s. Freals.

"Mark man, you play a mean guitar. It is really a shame that you must DIE!"
"I love you Eddie."