Friday, April 17, 2009

My Emotional Response to the Britney Spears/Pussycat Dolls concert I attended: via text

My reactions to the Britney Spears/Pussycat Dolls concert via text:

To Austin: So far we’ve seen a lot of gays and skanks. Excited. We paid 50 bucks for seats that are 10 rows from the very top. Section 130.

To Nate: Holy shit. At Britney Spears concert. Found new form of wolf t shirt. It’s a black shirt. Panther roaring. Incredible.

To Fred: not too bad. Just.. At this concert. Seeing the pussycat dolls with [Natalie].

To Eric: I’ll guarantee there are more queers here than at hurrah [in reference to an archenemy of ours mispronouncing Mirah’s name; saying it was pronounced like Hurrah.]

To Eric: haha. A britney mirah duet. Also. Officially the worst public bathroom experience of my life

To Austin: Natalie is busy taking pictures of people’s crappy tattoos

To Eric: i wish i was at a sisqo concert

To Austin: i wish i was at a sisqo concert

To Fred: Hell yeah! It’s like the boone county fair in here

To Austin: The preconcert music is ‘tell me somethin good. Tell me that you like me’

To Eric: Janice kapp perry is here. She thought it was a jazz game. She wandered on stage. She’s confused

To Natalie: Janice kapp perry is here. She thought it was a jazz game. She wandered on stage. She’s confused

To Eric: Jkp loves the jazz. She stalks karl malone

To Austin: The pussycat dolls just came on stage. Natalie freaked out. started yelling ‘do you think puff is here?! Do you think puff daddy is with them?!’

To Eric: They’re wearing silver sequin hoodies

To Eric: Flamboyant gay Mexican man in front of us. better performer than the dolls

To Mc: Flamboyant gay Mexican man in front of us. better performer than the dolls

To Mc: A crowd member. Going nuts

To Melanie: This pussycat dolls performance is an exercise in stupidity. Their dance moves consist of walking, nodding, and flapping like a chicken.

To Austin: Three straight single dudes sitting in front of us. Sat down with beers. Haven’t moved, clapped, or talked since they sat down. they look confused

To Austin: first audible reaction to the concert from those dudes: the lead singer [of the dolls] asked if anyone had heard their new album and one of the guys loudly farted

To Melanie: really. Pussycat dolls. Worst dancers. Ever.

To Mc: really. Pussycat dolls. Worst dancers. Ever.

To Austin: The intro to her show was perez hilton chewing baby doll heads. And then she shoots him with a crossbow. It goes from there. It’s like i’m watching a live version of pasolini’s 7 days of Sodom.

To Austin: Holy shit. Indescribable. The things I’m seeing.. they can’t be described.

[In response to “Well try anyways!”] To Austin: bollywood. Indians. giant floating parasol. Om shanty shanty.

To Austin: atom ant cover

To Austin: Woops. I mean soft cell. Hahaha

To Austin: holy shit.

To Austin: Holy shit woah. It’s with marilyn manson. now she’s dressed as an angel. Wings. Dangling from chains. I’m serious about that pasolini reference. on the screen above where she’s dancing there are just pictures of clocks and deer heads

To Austin: a salvador dali painting came to life on this stage.

To Austin: Literally the stage caught fire, and the screen was in flames and everything looked like hell.

To Austin: It’s over. I feel like taking a 7 day nap to forget what I just saw.

To Austin: Reflecting back, I’m glad I went. It was enjoyable.

To Mc: It was fun! Natalie is in heaven right now.

To Austin: In the car listening to.. britney spears. Damn it all.

3 comments:

Natalie Jane said...

awww you loved it. i knew it.

Austin said...

I feel like I just went to a britney spears concert now...what you witnessed that night was something no human being should ever have to see.

And yet,

I'm jealous.

Eric Layland said...

that night needs to be repeated. for 100 sequined reasons and for 12 lesbian couples. gimme more.

plus. i know you love britney. even more than natalie does. even more than kelly does. don't hate me for the truth.

 
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