How's it gonna do?

I keep wondering how life could have turned out lately. Not in a way that laments my current position. I'm happy to be where I am. I'm happy for the choices I've made, and the things that have happened as a result of that. It's just an old game I play in my head, imagining where I could be right now at this minute if I'd done things differently. I think I started playing when I was about 9 and some wise 4th grader talked to me in circles about the existence of different universes. I would sit for hours absent-mindedly thinking up what could be different in those universes. "There'd be ducks. But they'd be purple. And in another universe off of THAT, the ducks would be purple but I'd have new air jordans. And in another one off THAT one..." and so on. I still don't understand why all I ever altered in my dream universes were the coloration, size, and frequencies of populations of ducks. But some mysteries will never be solved.

So I sit and think about where I could be. Of course to do this, it implies that I know where I am right now. Which, maybe I don't know so much about.


We can start with the surface: I'm on a couch that sort of smells like pee. I'm in an apartment that almost always smells like bacon. I'm in a cold state. There's one light on in the apartment. I represent 1/6th of the apartment's population, 1/72th of the building overall.

We can dig a little deeper: I'm getting tired. I feel sort of bad because it's two minutes from 3 and I promised Natalie I'd actually try and get to bed before 3 tonight. I'm craving green apple Mundet. I'm reading an A.J. Jacobs book and I just watched 10 hours of conference talks over the weekend. I feel church-y.

From here I could think about the things I want: I want it to snow. I want to be warmer in my home. I want to have enough money to get the hundreds of photos I have left to develop. I want to scan in all my other photos. I want to not go to work tomorrow.

But then again we could think about the things I'm grateful for: I'm grateful for the Restored Gospel. My family talking to me while they eat dinner. I'm grateful for my eyesight. For my hearing. For great music on my zune. I'm grateful for pretty nice roommates. I'm grateful for good friends. I'm grateful for the existence of green apple Mundet. I'm grateful for the ability to choose my own life. I'm grateful for my Lord.

Actually, I'm thinking maybe I do know a lot about myself. So let's play the game.

In an alternate universe, I'd be going to Ohio University. I'd get wasted every weekend. I'd grow an awful beard. I'd have a million friends. I'd probably smoke and have a puffy vynll farming vest for the winter.

In an alternate universe much like that, I'd go to Ohio University and I'd have no friends. I'd be awkward to talk to and I'd take to wearing thick-black rimmed glasses that I don't necessarily need. I'd respond to people much too quickly. When people asked me where I'm from, I'd nearly cut them off saying, "Nowhere!" I'd wear a hunting hat like Holden Caulfield. I'd be involved in a very unfortunate event involving my roommates and the girl's dorms, wherein I'd never live down the nickname "Boss Ross."

In an alternate universe, I'd still be in Northern Kentucky working at Domino's. I'd start selling drugs with my manager Jeremiah who, I swear to this day, was Biggie. I'd use the words "shiii" and "gimme a smoke bitch" a lot.

I think if I had my pick, I'd choose the final one. Notorious.