Here are some problems I’ve found with college so far:
My shower
Everyday I get up and take a shower in the morning. Our house of 6 has two bathrooms (thankfully. Or else I would literally kill one of my roommates for hot water. Then we’d be a house of 5, which is more manageable). The general scenario is that I squeeze my way into the 2 ft. wide room and turn on the complicated shower mechanism. It doesn’t make sense. The temperature adjustment knob can spin upside-down. You never know what temperature to expect. Once I have it sort of figured out, I wait a few seconds for it to warm up and I get in. In the midst of washing, almost every single time I’m in there, the water decides to turn into a scalding rain of death. Have you ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark? When that Nazi’s face melts off? That’s what happens daily in my bathroom.
I’ve tried more methods than I can think of to figure out why this happens. I figured maybe somebody in my house was turning on another shower. Or a faucet. Nope, I’ve taken one when nobody was home and the same incredible pain followed. It’s hopeless. I’m forever afraid of water temperature.
Also, the shower is obviously built for those pumpkin farmer dwarves. The shower head turns to face you at approximately 2 degrees. To wash any part of you above your hips, you have to do the limbo to get underneath the stream of unpredictable hell water.
You’d figure all of this would be enough to drive me insane. Not so. The final nail in the coffin seems to be the almost impossible, incredible fact that, despite any logical reasoning, my bathroom AFTER a hot shower (really hot. Lava) is inexplicably COLDER than the shower, the temperature in the house, or even outside. I turn off the shower, and I’m freezing. I wrap myself in a towel and go into the main apartment and instantly I’m warmed by logic and reasoning.
It’s safe to assume that my shower is a portal into a fifth dimension. Hell.
Oh and one of my roommates only has shampoo in the shower. There’s three of us to that shower. I have a combination bottle of shampoo and soap (real manly), and my other roommate has a bar of soap and a few bottles of shampoo (?). But my final roommate only has… shampoo. I am disgusted and confused. Shampoo showers? No bathing period? Stealer? I’d say the latter, but it can’t be mine because my combo would be gone way before now. And I refuse to acknowledge that ANYONE would use anyone else’s bar of soap without a washcloth or louffa.
You figure it out. That’s what’s wrong with college.
4 comments:
Oh Alex... just wait, it's only the beginning. These are the experiences you will have for the next several years, more than likely. Simply put, it's called the real world. No more suburbia. You probably won't live in a house like you grew up in for another ten years. Believe me, I know. However, there will be many good that come along with the bad. You just have to look at it as an adventure. Good luck to you and just remember to savor the good.
I just thought I'd add that my dorm water temperature is perfect. Mmmm I love that temperature control. Oh I'm sorry...um yeah well there is one roommate of mine who mooches off my body wash. I'll let it go for now, but one more slip and I'll kill the son.
i've had my fair share of horrible shower experiences. but im living large and took a 40 minute shower today without and problems. i even laid down and started drifting off. sorry. you can use mine sometime if you want to take a sleep shower. ..
i'm blog stalking now. deal with it.
i'm glad your shower is terrible because that's what college is about. at least it's not community showers where people open the curtains on you. Natalie and Rachel always did that.
and Natalie always showered in high heels. She's classy.
and mostly. I'm so glad your shower is a portal because, and this IS true, Natalie, Rachel, and I found a shower that was a portal in the dorms. Now we know that there is more than one. Thank you for finding it.
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